eat pray love walk drink pee. . . . .

With the release of the new Julia Roberts movie this weekend, I couldn't resist writing about "Eat Pray Love." I liked Elizabeth Gilbert's book; I really did. The story is a delicious adventure and you couldn't ask for a more engaging voice. And being of a certain age, I could relate to the mid-life search for meaning or, as she calls it, a relationship with the divine; the creeping need to understand yourself, your life, and your purpose and to finally feel like you have experienced all that the world has to offer.

As much as I enjoyed reading about Ms. Gilbert's far-flung adventures though, I have to point out that as many of us reach that juncture of having to figure out how to spend the second half of our lives, we choose to go a very different way.

For those of you who haven't read the book - the following is a plot summary for the up-coming movie:
"Liz Gilbert (Roberts) had everything a modern woman is supposed to dream of having - a husband, a house, a successful career - yet like so many others, she found herself lost, confused, and searching for what she really wanted in life. Newly divorced and at a crossroads, Gilbert steps out of her comfort zone, risking everything to change her life, embarking on a journey around the world that becomes a quest for self-discovery. In her travels, she discovers the true pleasure of nourishment by eating in Italy; the power of prayer in India, and, finally and unexpectedly, the inner peace and balance of true love in Bali." (Written by Sony Pictures; Captured from IMDb)


First of all, let's not ever forget about those who never get to "search for what they really want in life." There are those among us who only get to search for a way to handle what they have been dealt. What some people want most is simply to live long enough to see what the rest of it might bring. There's no quest; no need to arrive at a particular destination by a certain age; there's only the need to hope and endure. Let's not forget about them. So when some critics call Ms. Gilbert "whiny" or "narcissistic," as much as I enjoy the ride when I read about her travels and travails, I kind of agree. And when I really start to think about it, I agree a lot!! So let's break it down. . . .


I think any 3-day walker will tell you that you don't have to journey around the world to step out of your comfort zone. You don't even have to go as far as one of the 15 cities in the Continental US that hosts a 3-Day event. You only have to commit - Think about when you first decided to participate. You agreed to walk 60 miles. That was way out of your comfort zone. The first time you did a 15 or 18 mile training walk - you may never have been more than a few miles from your house, but you were probably WAY out of your comfort zone. (Much more so than a professional writer who has traveled extensively who plans a long trip and agrees to write about it, right?!)

Pleasure doesn't have to come from indulging your senses. In fact, it may be far more gratifying to let it come from having done something for someone else rather than yourself. Some of you might be familiar with the Leo Rosten quote about the purpose of life. (If you have read The Underground Guide to the Breast Cancer Walks, then I know you have seen it - that's available from the 60 Mile Men). Anyway, to paraphrase, Rosten says the purpose of life is not to be happy, but to be useful - to have it matter in the end that you lived at all. I am all for self-discovery and I believe in living an examined life. That's part of the reason why I blog. There are times when we need to sit still. But then there are times when we need to act. To stand up and make a difference. Sometimes our contribution requires us to cast aside our own desires. I personally don't have a problem with that. I suspect you don't either.

Regarding Ms. Gilbert's other discoveries, I think we probably realize already that one doesn't have to roam away to a remote Ashram to pray. If Ms. Gilbert has the luxury of spending hours at a time looking for the light of clarity, more power to her. But my hectic life has demanded that I learn to pray on the fly; in the shower, driving the car, you name it. I don't know about you, but I actually pray best in my own bed. Literally, each morning before I get out of it. Gratitude first (Thank you for another day) - then solicitation (Watch over us and keep us safe). I'm no theologian or spiritual sojourner, but I can't imagine how much more in the prayer department you really need. There is Grace at work in my life every day. Maybe I'm just fortunate to be able to see it without spending all my time looking.

As for inner peace and tranquility? Sure it can come from true love - for everyone who has found their soul mate and gets to close their eyes tonight in that bliss, know that you are blessed. But there is another kind of love that brings just as much tranquility. It's a broader, expansive, all-encompassing kind of love - the kind we should all have for each other - the kind that binds us and makes us want to be better people. Real love means feeling the hurt when others bleed and crying when others feel sorrow. It means we want to stop the pain for every one because it pains us all. Genuine compassion and empathy beats pleasure and romance hands down when it comes to changing the world.


Elizabeth Gilbert has touched many lives with her writing. She started a self-re-invention movement that has helped countless people (especially middle-aged women) define what they want their lives to mean. I'm sure it matters that she has lived and I don't want to disparage her literary achievements. But I don't want women to put on sandals and flit off to some island or start sitting criss-cross-applesauce muttering their mantra for hours on end either. I would much prefer that we keep doing what we are doing. Put one foot in front of the other. Transformation is available to everyone at this slow pace. Be kind. Don't whine. Help where you can. Be useful. Love and be loved. Stand for something. Sacrifice. Show gratitude. Recognize grace. Congratulations! You found yourself.